The God I Believe In

Rabbi Samuel C. Kaye,
Associate Rabbi, Holy Blossom Temple – Toronto, ON
(Year Program ’15)

The God I believe in isn’t Aveinu Malkeinu, God the King or God the Father… at least not for 355 days of the year. For 355 days of the year, I hold a complicated and complex theology! My God is imminent and infinite! My god is loving and non-judgemental, close and supportive, cosmically competent but not responsible for the faults of human beings nor the mistakes of the world.

But for 10 days of the year, I recall the God of my ancestors. And that God  becomes my God again. Because for 10 days, on the High Holidays, I do need Avinu Malkeinu. I do need a parent. I do need a judge. I may even need a king. Because I need someone to confess to. I need someone to hold me accountable. Most of all, I need someone to hold the world.

And God is big enough for that. God is the only thing big enough for that. To be exactly what I need, now when I need God most. When it’s time to come home and do the hard, heart bearing work of the soul. To be ancient and modern, simple and complex, entirely my own- and something I share with all of you. My people. My Jews. Wherever you are.

I need God to hold that space for me and then, before I even realize that the gates have closed, to be exactly what I need all over again.

May this time of redemption and reflection bring you closer to our God in ways old and new. In the ways you seek and the ways you never knew to ask for.

Tizku L’Shanim Rabot! Shanah Tovah U’metukah!